When I first started homeschooling, I was equal parts excited and terrified. I wondered, could I actually educate my children and do it well? I had (what felt like) a million tabs on my browser open researching curriculum options, an excel spreadsheet comparing them all, a Pinterest board overflowing with picture-perfect learning spaces, and a heart full of questions. Now, six years into my journey, I look back on that wide-eyed version of myself with so much compassion. She was doing her best—and so are you.

If I could sit across from you today over a cup of coffee and a brownie (my weakness), here’s what I would want you to know:

1. You don’t have to recreate school at home.

It’s easy to think that homeschooling means setting up a mini-classroom and ringing a bell at 8:00 a.m. But your home doesn’t have to look like a public school for learning to happen. In fact, learning often happens best when it's woven into the rhythm of real life—listening to a read-aloud while baking tonight’s dinner rolls, counting practice while sorting laundry, or observing birds and snails on a nature-walk. My children love working on their schoolwork on the couch or the floor in our living room. Homeschooling gives you the freedom to learn in a way that fits your family.

2. It’s okay to go slow.

You don’t need to have everything figured out by September 1st. Or even by next year. There is such beauty in growing into this calling gradually. Take time to observe your child, get to know their natural learning styles and rhythms, and give yourself permission to change course when something’s not working. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, not a race. There is no good that comes from continuing on with a learning tool that isn’t serving your family well, causing tears, melt-downs, and broken relationship between you and your child.

If you have pulled your kids out of traditional school and are just starting your homeschool journey, you may need a time of “de-schooling.” De-schooling is a period of decompression — a time for both parent and child to step back from the structure, expectations, and mindset of traditional schooling. It’s not about doing nothing, but about allowing space for rest, reconnection, and reorientation.

Your child may need time to:

Reignite natural curiosity after years of scheduled learning.
Unlearn the idea that learning only happens at a desk.
Rebuild confidence if school left emotional or academic wounds.
Rediscover joy in reading, playing, exploring, and asking “why?”

And you may need time to:

Unlearn the belief that productivity equals success.
Learn to trust your child’s pace and passions.
Shift from “school manager” to “learning guide.”

There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for deschooling — some recommend one month for every year your child was in school. But even a few weeks of unstructured days filled with conversation, nature walks, games, books, baking, and boredom can work wonders.

Deschooling isn’t wasted time — it’s healing time. It’s the foundation for a homeschool journey that’s rooted in relationship, wonder, and freedom.

3. Curriculum is a tool, not a master.

I wish I had known not to feel guilty for closing a book halfway through the year. The right curriculum is the one that serves you and helps your child flourish. And sometimes, the best lessons don’t come from a textbook—they come from planting a garden side by side, watching the ladybug life stages happening in real-time on your fence, reading a story together, or having a heart-to-heart conversation on the couch.

4. Your relationship matters more than the checklist.

There will be days when math doesn’t get done, but character is built and hearts are shaped. That is not failure. That is discipleship. Your connection with your child is the foundation everything else is built on. When in doubt, choose relationship, because your children are a gift from the Lord, and He wants you to reflect His character to them.

5. You are equipped—right now, as you are.

You don’t need a teaching degree, a color-coded hourly schedule, or a Pinterest-worthy homeschool room to be an amazing homeschool mom. God has given you these children, and He is faithful to guide you. His grace fills the gaps where we fall short. Lean into that truth.

6. Community makes all the difference.

Find your people. Whether it’s a local nature co-op, a park day group, or a few online friends who get it—homeschooling is richer when you have others to share it with. You weren’t meant to do this alone. We have a beautiful Abiding Wild membership community online, to connect with and walk this journey together.

If you're just beginning this journey, take a deep breath. You are not behind. You are not unqualified. You are building something beautiful, slow and steady, one ordinary day at a time.

And one day, you’ll look back and see what I see now: It was never about checking every box. It was about growing hearts, cultivating wonder, and walking in faith together.

You’ve got this, mama. And you’re not alone.

Until next time, sweet friends.
Heather

What I Wish I Had Known as a New Homeschool Mom